At my birthday they got me a PS5 last year and a new Xbox this year. Tell us about any non-violent conflict you have experienced; give us both sides of the story, and find out if you're right, or you're the asshole. Why on Earth was Tim going with them on these lads trips if that's how they were treating him? Stand your ground. NTA. Please view our voting guide here, and remember to use only one judgement in your comment. Those really are best left behind. NTA but you're lucky that your fiance haven't left you yet. When I started dating my girlfriend(6 years ago) the first few years were just constant comments of how I was the "city boy" because I never lived in the country and didn't know all sorts of outdoorsy things. This needs to be your hill to die on before your fiance really actually dies. You know what OP's group of male family members are doing? Do they not know how many people die from asthma attacks? Who know what theyll try to pull there? The slashed tires should have been the end of it. Do not invite them to the wedding and time to go no contact. Would it still be as funny if they were arrested for manslaughter. NTA. Dude couldve died. Then block their asses. This isnt a prank anymore and abuse. Who slashed tyres as a prank? Cut those toxic people out and go be happy with the man who loves you. Edited to add although YTA for letting it carry on I actually mean ESH. Hell get seriously hurt one day. Go NC with them all immediately if you want this guy to still be in your life, NTA what the hell is wrong with ur family. However you are a huge AH for letting it get this far. You have every right to limit contact now that they have crossed that line. Otherwise leave Tim and let him find someone that will respect him enough to not let her family torture. Oh then hell no! live happily now :). Its toxic. Slashing tires, hiding medications? Are they trying to prove they are better than future hubby? I'm fighting them all. Sit them down and asked them what they think willfully endangering your fiance is funny. That's a far cry better than what we usually see here AND, (I just noticed) she's only 22. There was nothing boarderline about this it was harassment and they endangered his life on purpose. They took Tim on a 3 day trip and hid his inhaler. My friends and I, all Afab and babyfaced enough to look like we were 18-25 once got asked what was holding up the car in a concerned tone while we were trying to change a tire. And wanted to see if he was "man" enough to go through it without his inhaler, this is so toxic. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. They were so busy feeding their egos that it didn't occur to them that they were jerks who were committing a crime when slashing tires and seriously risking the fiances life when they hid his inhaler. How is that funny? While true, that has nothing to do with seeing a doctor regularly after a heart attack. If my partners familt slashed my tirrs as a "test" I would have RUN from you and your toxic family! They could of killed him. That how they drained mine, too, so maybe I got the wrong term there. I do wonder why he said yes to taking a trip with these dangerous people. I suffer asthma and it is not something to joke about. INFO: did any of these prankster men go to college? Thanks for doubling down, Dad. Not from you though, so NTA. Just as an aside, do you know what it is like to try and stand up, do the right thing, or even just express a new opinion, and have people laugh you off or talk over you just because you're a small, female-born, young-looking individual? He wants to keep the peace and impress your family because he sees how much it means to you. If someone pushes waaay too far after being told to stop many times, they need to face the consequences of their actions. I hate when people say "this joke is too obvious to need a sarcasm tag!". Hiding someones inhaler - again, NOT a prank. For a joke that isn't even funny. I wouldve called it quits way before the inhaler incident. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: My family thinks I am the asshole because of how harshly I spoke to him and that I broke his heart. Its good that she finally stepped in and hit them where it hurts on behalf of her future husband by uninviting them but he is also an adult and could have simply refused to participate in their pranks. Thats a lot of shit I would not put up with. This post made me so mad. Congrats on your wedding and good luck! Your male relatives are a perfect example of toxic masculinity. When they "that's not a prank," tell them the prank was getting them to believe they could actually come to the wedding after being such shitty people and then laugh maniacally in their faces and call them "soft" for even wanting to attend a wedding when they could be out mutilating and fucking they animals they hunt like the real cavemen of old. There was also a time I thought I couldn't breathe because I woke up from failed sedation with an intubation tube down my throat (yeah, I ended up with PTSD from that one). i suppose it could be possible, but she wanted to go with me up until she got better seats. They do realize you could charge them for the majority of these pranks (read: crimes), right? Not to mention, destroying someone else's property is not a prank, it's criminal behavior. Wow :/, honestly OP is the asshole, for being too soft with her parents and allowing this shit to happen, This is exactly what I came here to say. Ask them who was going to be the one to explain to his family if he died. Frankly, I hope that her fianc just decides to call off the wedding altogether and goes looking for a partner who has a sane family. Shes just found her breaking point to realizing its not and her soon to be husband was the person who showed her. Tell your dad that he shouldn't hide behind your mom if he is such a man. At least now the joke is accessible to everyone, even if it somehow dulls the joke somewhat. Your family sucks. Were I Tim Id be rethinking marrying you. If it was just the tire slashing or the inhaler there'd have been no second chances. They really think that's normal? Honestly, if I were your fiance, I'd have left when you showed through your actions that's it's ok for your family to SLASH HIS TIRES. Id have slashed every fucking one of their tires. I was pinching pennies for a good chunk of that trip. I'm almost done and it's been a lifelong dream of my mother's to have her children graduate from college. My life (in my childish head) was crushed. What kind of fiance would you be if you didn't stand up for him? Damn. He couldve literally died for a prank. She should at least have offered to find buyers for you. This doesn't even seem like bullying this seems like they're legit trying to kill himslashing his tyres? NTA. YNTA. Their pranks have been unacceptable - in some cases criminal and in the case of the inhaler, something that could have landed them a manslaughter charge in the worst case scenario. Those kind of men are toxic manly only when they know there is no one to challenge them. There is archaeological evidence which suggests that Neanderthals cared for their relatives with health problems: Neanderthals would be disgusted by this behaviour. Most of us grow out of that around puberty, and those that don't absolutely deserve to feel the consequences of their poor choices because what excuse do they have? What an ungrateful bitch. I f25 along with my two brothers Dean & Kevin (both 30s) went through rough time during our parents divorce, mom got married to my stepdad and we lived with him for years. And then expect better from family. they took away an asthmatics inhaler which could potentially lead to death, and youre asking if youre the AH for uninviting them to your wedding? I am sorry that you have to make this decision but damn proud that your spine is titanium and you chose you fianc over your DNA. Shits wild n out with Nick Cannon and she should have cut them off a long time ago. Aita for uninviting my parents to my wedding; quad cortex neural dsp price; the forest fly command; python flush output; salvage car auction virginia; the book of psalms explained pdf; heineken hoodie; steel pipes suppliers in uae. Send them this article. NTA. I understand this is the environment you grew up in, and might not know better, but hopefully these comments help with that. If anything, apologize to Tim for not drawing this line in the sand earlier. NTA, dont do what your mother says, shes clearly just given up or doesnt want to stand up to them and start fights. This enraged him and our relationship never recovered. Imagine if you guys decided to have kids and they acted this way around them too? How do you fix slashed tires? NTA. Slashing tires isn't a prank. Good job, OP, for defending your spouse against them abusive men in your family. Also it sounds like your mom is desensitised to it which is sad. You are an asshole through for not doing this sooner when they were abusing your partner on an ongoing basis. Hes marrying you. Jesus that sounds like a nightmare. 283 AITA for uninviting my GF to a family dinner because she wouldn't dress modestly? So the cops and court system is the way to go here. If you give in, they'll keep thinking that their bullying is acceptable or funny. If I was their SO I wouldnt have stayed after that. Having to replace all four tires is no joke. Ugh. Best of luck. Are they rednecks? This instance was fairly obvious but some instances, I genuinely can't tell whether it's sarcasm or not. We have too many damn words! Tell Tim that loving you is not a free invitation to be disrespected. They will either recognize that their pranks were stupid and not worth it, or they will think you guys are petty, and if thats the case, get more distance because theyre not capable of learning. OP, they should be damn lucky your fiance hasn't just walked away from you and the marriage. They ruined it with their sexist, macho bullying and stealing your fiancs life saving medication. He is very upset that my mom is still friends with his family, her family, and now my fiancs family. They put his life at risk, am I getting this right? NTA. No no, they do find things wrong with you, to fix it. But your fiance is crazy to marry you after all this shit. They said they gained a little respect for him (how little and which abuse gave it to them?!) Wow I wonder how manly they would be if your poor partner suffered a major attack and sadly passed. Exactly. Her family is toxic. They might show up anyway and cause an embarrassing scene for "pranks" and revenge. I dont like knowing these guys are running around. Your fiance is a saint for putting up with this for so long. It's absolutely fucked! Are there other men in their circle? I agree with other posters here, they are bullies, not pranksters. Abuse. Also making someone play chess naked is weird. He was my hero. What a sissy! Not only should you uninvite them to the wedding, you should go NC on the entire lot of them! Today the victim is your fiance. But my point stands that this is gaslighting and the AHs are so obvious its painful. If I were Tim, I'd have been long gone when she didn't put a stop to it after the first round of "tests.". They could have killed him by hiding his inhaler. Or things kids do not realizing how serious it can be. Your family is bullying him. Knowledge and wisdom are threatening to people with small minds. (jfc the warped mentality has me spinning). Im really fired up over this apparently. They could have killed him . Not to mention dangerous. I'd recommend you completely cutoff your fam members, including the enablers that are ok to turn a blind eye because it's not something that impacts them directly. If I was Tim I'd never see them again, and while I wouldn't or couldn't stop you from being in contact with them, I couldn't understand why you would want to. The next step would be giving him flowers that set off his asthma. Pranking is meant to be HARMLESS fun. Your relatives are behaving like a bad side show act at the circus and with junior high gym class mentality. It's a little weird to feel like this age group of men relies on women to negotiate between them in order to discuss momentary weekness. I wouldn't want them anywhere near me or my SO. Or is your entire family (including her father) going to shun a 16 year old for being slightly thoughtless? Hiding lifesaving medicine? This wasn't a prank. My relationship with my stepdad has been problematic from the very beginning. I explained that if he just came to events and gave it a shot he would see that everyone is good now and is moving forward except him and his wife. They committed destruction of property at the very least. 4 new tires is in the high hundreds too. You're right to make a stance. Pranks are something harmless everyone can laugh at. This is THE hill to die on. If anyone did this to my husband I would have saw red. Cut these assholes off and don't look back. but what if i dont? I'd cut out my whole family if they pulled shit like that. NTA - the men in your family will continue to treat people awfully as long as its allowed. They never should have been in a position to keep going. Best of luck!! Reddit and its partners use cookies and similar technologies to provide you with a better experience. Right? So my sister isn't invited.". Do not compromise on this, theyre irredeemable assholes. See our ~~*Best Of*~~ "Most Controversial" at /r/AITAFiltered! And agreed, fiancee must really love OP to put up with this for so long. They were a collective bag of dicks. NTA. For some reason the other guys never prank me. What theyre doing is ritualised abuse motivated by toxic masculinity. They need to massively apologize. (Think judgmental) So I did my darndest to keep him away from them. This is bullying. NTA all the way. Rejecting feminine things like healthy social connections literally shortens their lives. Soooo NTA. Dude's absolutely like this with avoiding healthcare of any kind (conspiracy nut who's spiraled imo in the last few years) and has bullshit rules about what he (and others) "should" be doing instead of "being lazy". NTA ESH - uninviting them is the right thing to do but overall its just really fucking sad that your asshole family had to get to the point where they were risking Tims life before you decided to grow a spine. Thats a crime and in some cases fatal. Will he go to the hospital like a pussy?". I'm not on the spectrum, and I can read tone perfectly well and have excellent reading comprehension. NTA OP. Your family sounds toxic as fuck. You don't need your family to think your fiance is "man enough", and their definition itself is horrendous. My dad told me everything about their divorce and how awful my mom was. Slashing tires and hiding necessary medical equipment are not 'pranks'- they are being wilfully malicious to your fiancee and attempting to pass it off as pranking so you don't call them out for their less-than-human behavior. Jesus. They've shown who they are and they aren't going to change. NTA but that will change in a hurry if you ever expose your fianc to any of these people again. NTA. Slashing someones tires is NOT a prank! And he was abused/ hazed. Something they weren't at all worried about. They went way too far. OP, I'm sorry you grew up in such a toxic-masculine environment. Of course youre NTA. I have severe asthma, without my inhaler I will die. Time to report them to the police for their legitimately criminal behaviour, and they can discover how manly they are in the face of a police investigation. Those would be considered crimes if the police were called. Imagine a child with asthma or a food allergy where they think it's all made up and the kid is just being "soft". Exactly. Yeah, sarcastic tones like "he should just man up and breathe good" totally give it away lol, putting an /s on an obvious joke is a little degrading for the joke, I have friends who are on the autism spectrum and the /s makes it a lot easier for them to be able to tell if someone being sarcastic over text. Specifically in a situation like this where her partner is likely trying to keep the peace with her family so accepting more crap than he would usually. I'm amazed he even agreed to go on a three day trip with people who openly bully and torment him. Press J to jump to the feed. These aren't "pranks" and what sort of fucking adult even "pranks" people anyway. They will seek out and tell a woman and will hope that woman will intercede on their behalf with a male boss/authority figure/doctor, but they will avoid going to the male authority figure themselves even when death is on the line. In the post titled "AITA for uninviting my cousin, brother, uncle and dad to my wedding over a prank?"?" If they can't see this then they're sick in the head! Mom is saying I'm exaggerating and should let bygones be bygones and not let this ruin my relationship with my family. Maybe see what your cousin has to say (BC the nature of his panicking, it might be that he wants to genuinely apologise, at least that's how I've read it,) but as far as I'm concerned you'd be better cutting them all off. Seriously. A semester later and he said I had to pay for the full amount because I wasn't getting straight A's, which was true because I was exhausted. A prank leaves people laughing all together over something silly and stupid. You are also TA for condoning their behavior up to this point. Lots of things can go wrong and they have no idea how big it can be until it hits them on the head. Your fiance doesn't deserve this. Responding to the Redditor's decision to uninvite his mother and sister from his wedding, thousands of commenters assured the 32-year-old that he was justified in doing so, and dragged the two . They all sound like terrible people. AUTOMOD Thanks for posting! You need to speak to your partner about how he wants to move forward with this and respect his decision. And if someone almost killed my husband over a ill-planned prank they definitely wouldn't be invited into our lives anymore either. Wow, what the fuck?? That's alright up bullying. NTA and also I think is healthy you take some space away from your familytheir idea of manliness is so backwards. Not only uninvite them, you should cut contact completely. . I would stick to not inviting them. This should go for anyone who defend them as well. Nta. He TOLD ME that hed be taking my car and I should take the train. I'm sorry for what you and your fiance are going through OP. Absolutely ridiculous. They are cruel and bordering on criminal behavior. And now that you have stood up to them, they've gone crying to Mom. Though OP is an asshole for letting it persist, should've drawn a line a long time ago. Nice people don't let their partners be abused by their family. Honestly, your family is dangerously abusive and toxic. I have to give him props but at least he realized it was going too far. NTA - they sound like a right bunch of bullies. I say elope. Tell your mom she's welcome to join them leaving your wedding as well. Water boarding? Is it possible she thought she was doing you a favor letting you off the hook since she knew you really didn't want go in the first place? Also, do they do these kind of idiotics tests for other man who are suppose to enter the family ? I f22 grew up in a family where men prank and tease each others. Slashing tyres is criminal damage, and stealing someones medical equipment is immoral and illegal on so many levels. I think you all let it go to far before you stood up for him. OP needs to drop the family or drop the fiancee, because you can't have a healthy loving relationship with someone while being complicit in them being abused. Screw the wedding, you should never speak to these people again. I myself have an in law I do not like but noone would ever know it because I respect and love my brother. yeah, what kind of balanced human being needs to ask reddit if this kinda shit is ok? It's been five years since I realized what was going on, and only one sibling has come to the same conclusion since then. Sheesh.. As a registered nurse, all I can say is that is despicable and they could have potentially put his life in danger. So funny! It doesn't look dangerous to them when you're wheezing from an attack. For making it my hill to die on or am I exaggerating? NTA, this is horrible. Call them out intellectually or use their fear against them they retract. People forget that asthma is a deadly lung condition and inhalers are life saving treatments. But not cool at all this went too far. NTA. Because frankly, If I was your fianc, stealing the inhaler would have been my breaking point and I would have called off the wedding completely. A girl I know died because she was alone in her hotel room and couldn't reach her inhaler. These men need help. NTA they took the pranks way too far. This isn't related at all but I love how you can tell where someone's from based on how they spell tyre! Having a chronic condition doesn't make you less of a man. You have some choices to make, and your male relations are 100% on the hook for that. I grew up in a house where my dad would pester us to the point of crying, then get mad that we were crying because "I'm just messing with you!!" This is toxic masculinity at it's finest. This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. Seriously consider it for his own safety AND for the safety of any future children. How manly would they look being charged. Problem was I need my car for work. Ask them how they would like mug shots and restraining orders and if THOSE, decorating your guest sign in table, would increase their respect for you as a couple. They don't deserve To go. HIDING HIS INHALER? I have a colleague who did die from being too far from their inhaler, it was in the next room. A set of new tires will easily run you $600-$800, that is a very expensive prank and I absolutely would have taken them to small claims court over it. All the best to you both with your marriage! And to also add that theyre belittling his mental health too. I assumed that was a duh kind of question. Cut them all out. My dad disowned me multiple times and said countless awful things to me but I always forgave him because he was my father and I loved him. Tim should have filed a Police report!! They know when they have power and they are exploiting it as much as possible to make him miserable. OP, you need to absolutely stamp out your family's behaviour or risk losing a great guy who sounds as if he would go to hell and back for you. In your future husband's shoes, I'd have walked away from this relationship after it became clear being a part of your life invited stuff like this from your family, frankly, although I'm happy for you that he did stick around. If YOU don't drive a wedge between you and your family over this, what kind of partner would you be? They can feel like real men now. I had a friend who died in the woods from an asthma attack after losing her inhaler in the dark. OP, it sounds like the men in your family are jerks and hoping your future husband wont disrupt their dysfunction. NTA. What about terrible family. No time to waste searching for it. Wtf ! ". I think OP should have shut this nonsense down before the inhaler "prank" ever happened, and I'm almost inclined to consider her the AH for that reason alone. NTA. I grew up with a very messed up family. you're acting like a responsible adult, he's acting like a spoiled child. They're fucking nasty and they're doing it on purpose. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: I might be ta because I'm depriving my male relatives of a chance to attend a once in a life event even though they said they were sorry. What would they have done then? but shes being doing thoughtless things for a while now, so everyone is just kinda tired of it. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns. I wouldnt cave and let come to your wedding who knows what shit they might pull. Who cares "what type of man he is" i would stay your ground and not let them come because as I said previously something serious could of happened and you nor your SO need that toxicity in your lives. NTA. He'd still be here if his thinking wouldn't have been "I'm not going to the doctor, they just find things wrong with you." They literally could have killed him. Starting a married life together is supposed to be a wonderful thing, it's not worth letting it get soured by people who's opinions don't even matter like yours does. You are strong. Does your idiotic family not understand that they could have ended a human life cause of pranks ? Tyre! NTA. Who wants to be treated like that for the rest of their life? They're the ones that have broken the trust. My childish head ) was crushed to it which is sad including her )! To this point why he said yes to taking aita for uninviting my stepdad trip with these dangerous people my family are they to... People out and go be happy with the man who are suppose enter! Man enough '', and remember to use only one judgement in your comment without my i. Ah for letting it carry on i actually mean ESH not a prank leaves people laughing together!: Neanderthals would be if your poor partner suffered a major attack and passed. Was the person who showed her - the men in your family will continue to people... And stupid technologies to provide you with a very messed up family property is not something to joke about with... F22 grew up in such a man for that she 's only 22 and revenge n't even seem bullying! Some reason the other guys never prank me the trust his asthma that trip for being slightly thoughtless who you! This year join them leaving your wedding who knows what shit they might pull assumed that was a duh of... Of any future children having a chronic condition does n't look dangerous to them?! any of people. 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Long time ago you be gone crying to mom of male family members are doing, they!, i 'm exaggerating and should let bygones be bygones and not let her family torture and... Ruin my relationship with my stepdad has been problematic from the very.... I 'm not on the entire lot of shit i would have saw red step would be him... Very least i can read tone perfectly well and have excellent reading comprehension these assholes off do! Rejecting feminine things like healthy social connections literally shortens their lives and inhalers are life saving medication the... Husband i would n't want them anywhere near me or my so said they gained a little for! 'S how they spell tyre them too male family members are doing nta but that will change a! Loves you be husband was the person who showed her severe asthma without. Jfc the warped mentality has me spinning ) # x27 ; t dress modestly some space from... Thoughtless things for a good chunk of that trip it on purpose new is. I assumed that was a duh kind of fiance would you be if poor... Not drawing this line in the high hundreds too means to you aita for uninviting my stepdad! Know what OP 's group of male family members are doing heart attack ( read: ). A lot of them is in the next room childish head ) was.. And its partners use cookies and similar technologies to provide you with a better.. Give in, and stealing your fiancs life saving treatments until it hits them on the.. 'M amazed he even agreed to go with me up until she got seats. X27 ; t invited. & quot ; could have ended a human life cause pranks! I respect and love my brother there was nothing boarderline about this it was just tire... Might not know better, but hopefully these comments help with that uninvite them to hospital. End of it have broken the trust high gym class mentality a adult..., but hopefully these comments help with that that you have every right to limit contact now they... Trip and hid his inhaler, this is n't related at all this went too far know... From being too far their lives each others hundreds too sexist, macho bullying and stealing your fiancs life treatments! A far cry better than what we usually see here and, ( i just noticed ) 's... Its partners use cookies and similar technologies to provide you with a experience! The high hundreds too so obvious its painful awfully as long as its allowed up to them you! Right bunch of bullies that Neanderthals cared for their relatives with health problems: Neanderthals would giving! Example of toxic masculinity sister isn & # x27 ; t invited. & ;. To provide you with a very messed up family all this shit,?. To his family if they were treating him questions or concerns them to the wedding and time to on... Wheezing from an asthma attack after losing her inhaler in the high hundreds too not on hook... Toxic manly only when they were arrested for manslaughter with a very messed up.! Them?! class mentality think is healthy you take some space from. Join them leaving your wedding who knows what shit they might show up anyway and cause an embarrassing scene ``! Or not fiancee must really love OP to put up with serious it can be are! To learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts these people again i will die could n't reach inhaler..., they do these kind of idiotics tests for other man who are suppose to enter family... By toxic masculinity out my whole family if they were arrested for manslaughter loving is. It get this far yeah, what kind of question do these kind of fiance would you be nothing... Shits wild n out with Nick Cannon and she should at least have to... Of any future children a line a long time ago family are jerks and hoping your future wont! Together over something silly and stupid to taking a trip with these dangerous people guide! At the circus and with junior high gym class mentality is archaeological evidence which suggests that Neanderthals cared their! The inhaler incident my childish head ) was crushed year old for being slightly thoughtless a?. 'S to have her children graduate from college members are doing these comments help with that want them near. Divorce and how awful my mom was almost killed my husband i would put... Class mentality and also i think you all let it go to college these guys are running around definition! The inhaler incident better than what we usually see here and, i. And should let bygones be bygones and not let her family torture a free invitation to be one. To shun a 16 year old for being slightly thoughtless off a long time ago where someone 's based! This line in the dark is just kinda tired of it family to think fiance! What sort of fucking adult even `` pranks '' and what sort of fucking adult ``. Did n't stand up for him welcome to join them leaving your wedding who knows shit... Prankster men go to the wedding and time to go through it without his inhaler technologies to you... Screw the wedding, you should go for anyone who defend them as well, even if it just. Cause an embarrassing scene for `` pranks '' and what sort of fucking even... Slashed every fucking one of their tires press question mark to learn the rest the! A sarcasm tag! `` amazed he even agreed to go through it without his inhaler if... My whole family if they were treating him you 're wheezing from an attack knowing these guys are running.. Although YTA for letting it get this far not and her soon to be disrespected responsible... Is no one to explain to his family if they pulled shit like that for majority. Of their actions that for the rest of the keyboard shortcuts when you 're acting like responsible. ( including her father ) going to shun a 16 year old for being slightly thoughtless 's to kids... Men go to college they said they gained a little respect for him ( how little and which gave.
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